Don't ever...

Have you had someone give you a piece of advice a little too late? Well, after all of the dumb things I do on a daily basis, I thought I would help you guys out by giving you my advice here! Of course feel more than free to chip in as well, lord knows we all do stupid things! But then again it doesn't have to be stupid, it can just be warning to not try a particularly bad restaurant, or perhaps not see an even worse movie! So, like I said...feel free to chip in.

The first of the "Don't evers..." is....

DON'T EVER GET THE RANDOM IDEA TO BE ARTISTIC BY WRITING ON YOURSELF WITH LIP GLOSS.

-Sniffles-

I've been trying for the past two hours to remove the word "love" which I wrote above my heart because of some stupid brilliant idea that it would make a cute picture. AND NOW IT WON'T COME OFF!!! Girls...help me. I've got a baby shower to go to in a few hours...and I can't very well go on explaining to a bunch of Pentecostals why I have 'love' written on my boob. >_<

Have you got any detergent/dish soap lying around the house? It's made to cut through grease, so if you have some put it on a cloth, wet it and try to rub it off.

(coming from a guy's clueless perspective)

How does lip gloss come off normally? Can it, for example, be licked off?
If so, you could just wet a finger and

Nevermind; everything was starting to sound risqué. -_-


fellow Guys:
DON'T EVER TRY TO HELP WITH A GIRL PROBLEM!

A lesson for all the boys and girls:

DON'T EVER PUT A BUNCH OF TOILET PAPER IN THE BOWL!! I WARN YOU, THE FLOOD WILL NOT BE PRETTY AND PINK!!!

That is all.

Is it just stained into your skin? If so, just wear a shirt that covers that part of your body. After a few days of washing, it should be gone.

Yes Kalon, lip gloss can be licked off. But it doesn't taste very good, unless you get certain tastey kinds ^_^

Don't ever EVER EVER leave your wallet in a bag in a stroller at disneyland. It doesn't matter if everyone else is doing it, you will be the one that gets stolen from!

It finally did come off after 2 showers and lots of scrubbing. But it was that long lasting lip gloss lol. So go figure lol. Anyway...

DON'T EVER TRUST A HOE.

Why not? They're good gardening tools...

Yeah until you step on the hilt and then it flies up and hits you in the face. XD

Ouch... That sounds dangerous...

Don't ever mention the weight of your significant other unless it's to compliment their physique...

I would like to second, DON'T EVER TRUST A HOE!

and add

Don't ever fall for your best friend...

Or your spouse's!

YEAH!

... wait, what? lol!

Don't ever say die. Goonies, never say die!

Actually, Ryona, wouldn't significant other encompass the spouse as well? But yeah. I think I've given some key advice.

Yes, significant other counts as well. But when I typed it as spouse/significant other's it just...lost it's touch lol.

And in response to Danger's question...

it's a long story

Hello Danger wrote:YEAH!

... wait, what? lol!

Don't ever say die. Goonies, never say die!

OMG most epic of all things holy!!! I love that movie. XD

DON'T EVER DRINK THE LEMON FLAVORED THERMAFLU.

The only thing it's good for is inducing vomiting.

Don't ever divide by zero, you'll only make a fool of yourself in the process.

If you play bass, never lift the neck up towards yourself while headbanging to the left... or if you're left handed to you're right... tuning keys hurt like hell when they hit you in the side of the head.

Don't ever make a grammatical error around Kathryn Lacey, she'll only make a fool of you in the process. Every time. She is actually a special ops sniper for the Grammar Police.

Rumor has it she dots her i's with .50 caliber rounds and crosses her t's with a combat knife. The point I'm trying to make, people, is that she does not play around.

OMG! How did you find out! ^o_o^

Don't ever take shots of pure Everclear. For those that don't know what it is, it is 95% alcohol by volume, the most pure alcohol can get under normal atmosphere without evaporating at room temperature. As a comparison, standard rubbing alcohol is around 80% alcohol by volume.

A shot of that stuff will cause your chest to burn, your eyes to water, and you to hate yourself for doing it. In the words of my brother, "Fuck shots of Everclear . That shit is not okay."

When I was fourteen, some of my family members were drinking Everclear mixed with lemonade safely at home. Well, I decided I would mix myself a drink because I figured if I did it myself I would actually get it, but I thought if I asked one of them to make it for me, they would decline. Anyway, I didn't realize that there should have been more lemonade than alcohol ((especially with Everclear)). Anyway, the end result was rubbing alcohol with a hint of lemon. It made me gag. I dumped the glass, and I have refused to touch Everclear ever since.

Don't ever be afraid to change yourself for the better.

That's the funny thing about Everclear. When mixed properly, it sneaks up on you and puts you on your ass. When mixed improperly, it's like kicking back napalm.

Don't ever not believe some when they say "I am going to hurl in your car!" Believe it with vigor and pull over immediately. I almost had an incident this morning and am so glad my sister waited until I did pull over before opening the door. I am so glad I did because I wouldn't have wanted to clean up that mess!

Do not run when the weather is cold and dry. No. No, no, no, no, no. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Let me put it this way: if there is indeed a rock and a hard place, your body's frantic screaming is the hard place and the cold is the heat. They will crush you together until you get a headache, have limbs that feel like water, and WORST OF ALL have lungs that feel like they've been tap-danced on by a pair of Eskimos wearing spiked snow shoes. I mean it, don't try it. I was wheezing terribly in the end, and I can still feel the after effects.

But it's P.E. I need that good grade...

Oh, and I challenge that "do not fall for my best friend" statement. I did, and we are currently in a budding romantic relationship.

Perhaps it should be "Don't ever fall for your best friend, unless they have fallen for you first"

Perhaps this should be a forum game.

Hmmm....
*makes "iffy" hand gesture*
Judging by the intent of the thread's creator, vs. what it's turning into, this one could go either way.
We seem to enjoy Generally Discussing the silly things we should never do, so I won't bother moving it for now. xD

DON'T EVER SAY "DIFFERENT THAN" AROUND KALON ORDONA II... NOT UNLESS YOU WANT TO HEAR HIM SAY "DIFFERENT FROM" IN AN INSTRUCTIVE, SUPERIOR MANNER.

oops.... See? I guess that was an example of what you're saying. I almost fell into the trap! xD

How about for real, then....

DON'T EVER BUY A USED Nintendo DS Lite WHEN A NEW ONE IS ONLY $30 MORE!!

Actually now that the DSi is out, there's not much need to bother. Unless you try to buy a used DSi. xD Always take new over used, even if they saaaaaay it's in perfect condition!!!
At the very least, that way you'll still have the warranty.

Ryona Noel wrote:Perhaps it should be "Don't ever fall for your best friend, unless they have fallen for you first"

Agreed!

Don't ever let her help you, it'll be for her own reasons. I'm not lying. Take my pen, write this down. Do not trust her.