Roll to Dodge the Alien Threat (Closed, Concluded)

Study the artifact further! ...in Fort Quaker of course <.<;;

Code Name: Sigh the Stripper
Health: [6/6]
Sanity: [6/6]
Skills: None
Status Effects: None
Equip: SILVER THONG OF JUSTICE, Rifle, 3x Rifle Clips

A sudden light gleams within the skies as yet another dropship makes it's way towards the target location. The passenger, too busy preparing her SILVER THONG OF JUSTICE for battle, is a boistrous red head who is completely ignoring the warnings being emitted from her dropship signifying that she is falling directly ontop of the one known as Quaker!

I attempt to fight against the alien mind control.

Lady sighs with disappointment and tries counseling again.

Coaxes the wife into the living room with the children by saying that there are hostiles in the area and we were checking the houses to make sure that none are taking hostages. I then further inquire her as to whether she has seen anything unusual occurring during the past couple of days.

Inquire onto the seemingly rational female nearby if anyone is in need of mental services (Lady Despair if you didn't know :O) while switching on one stun baton in the right hand.

In addition, channel carl jung's spirit and "cast" "tell me about your mother" to the presumed alien.

Looks up in the sky..."You have got to be fucking kidding me..."

Action: Attempts to attach the dropship engines to the fort and BOOK IT!

Once I've finished my sweep, I quickly return to the office I found during it, and immeadiatly give it a search! Something isn't right with this nuclear family...they're missing .5 of a child! They could be socialist sleeper agents...

Calls for Loki and Plague to come to the garage so we can steal lawfully commandeer this vehicle and return to aid our comrades by MOWING OVER THOSE ALIEN SUNS'A'BITCHES!

Initiative-
Hostiles: 66!
Operatives: 71!
Operatives go first!

Operatives-
Kalon:
Raptorman? There is no Raptorman at your current position.
Rule Discovered: You must be in the same "square" of the map to interact with a person!

Red:
You continue your examination of the artifact!
Roll: 2!
After staring at the artifact for a while, you realize something!
If you cross your eyes, and squint just right, it kinda looks like a puppy!

Lady Despair:
You try counseling again, at least this method isn't as likely to drive you mad!
Mental Attack Roll: 5!
Mitigation Roll: 5!
You feel like you're making progress, but then he seems to shut down as the alien forces itself back into control!

Loki:
You lead the wife into the living room, and then proceed to interrogate her!
Roll: 2!
She doesn't seem to have seen anything. You were about to break out the thumb-screws, but figured that might be overkill for a civvy.

Moira:
You attempt to open communications with the alien!
Roll: 4!
...You successfully cure it of mild depression from Lady's singing. Hurrah?

Quakernuts II:
A dropship is landing on you? QUICKLY! FLY AWAY!
Roll: 6 + 1 = 7!
You are successful in your construction attempts. LUDICROUSLY successful. Fort Quaker takes to the sky with Red inside it, and hovers in the air above the clearing!
Learning Roll: 3!
Note: This is getting mildly scary.

Plague:
You search the office for the missing .5 children!
Roll: 1!
No luck on the kid. But you DID find a book entitled "Cthulhu for Dummies."
Your pregnancy progreses! 4 turns remain!

Gunneh:
You call for Loki and Plague!
Roll: 5!
Whether they wanted to or not, they are now in the car with you! Operation: Vehicular Homocide is officially a go!
Note: I'm sick of "no roll" turns, so I think I'll just roll for inane things if I have nothing explicit to roll for. You know, like kidnapping your teammates.

Sigh:
You attempt to "accidentally" land the dropship on Quakernuts II!
Roll: AUTOFAIL!
It appears Fort Quaker has taken to the skies! Landing on it would be unfeasible!
Instead, you just land it where the fort had been before!

Hostiles-
Unknown:
The psionic alien is still quiet. Who saw that one coming?

Raptorman:
Resist Roll: 2!
You continue your rampant hostilities!
Target Roll: 4!
Target: Moira!
That therapist! HE MUST BE DESTROYED!
Physical Attack Roll: 9!
Dodge Roll: 6!
Mitigation Roll: 3!
Damage: 9 - 3 - 1 (Armor) = 5!
Your first round hits Moira in the side of his neck, tearing through the flesh!
Target Health Update: [1/6]
Physical Attack Roll: 8!
Dodge Roll: 2!
Mitigation Roll: 6!
Damage: 8 - 6 - 1 (Armor) = 1!
Your second round hits him squarely in the throat, and he crumples to the ground!
Target Health Update: [0/6]
Moira's eyes glaze over as he finishes his first and only therapy session, then his head rolls to the side and he is gone.
Killcount +1!
You empty the final round into his chest, just to be sure.
Clip Update: {5/18}
Note: Wow, that sucked for Moira. I suppose we'll be seeing a Moira II then?

Different square? Shouldn't that have been a Rule Discovered, or something?

---

Agent Raptorman is apparently too far away to hear me, I realize, what with all the noise going on. Besides, others are already trying to bring him back, so it might be best to investigate the area instead.

Things seem very chaotic right now. I look around, trying to deduce something resembling a clear objective.

>.>
Probably should have been, but I'm a lazy bastard. Maybe I'll go back and edit it.
And just so you don't waste the turn, the "objective" is to acquire alien artifacts. You generally do this by searching, killing aliens, and taking their tech. If you find a UFO, you might want to take it for yourself. Note that, for this purpose, alien corpses count as alien artifacts.
<.<
This is like the third time I've said that, I think.

Exits the dropship guns a blazing shooting at nothing in particular while screaming ferociously.

OMG this fort is the SHIT
____________________________________________________________________

Realizing just how damn awesome this fort is, I fly over to where the moderator strike team is.

Action: Upon seeing them, I yell encouraging words to my comrades to boast their hopes, and make them jealous of my Fort!

"Don't worry, me and my EPIC FORT OF AWESOMENESS QUAKER will defend you along the road my fellow squad mates!"

Loki calls shotgun and searches the glove compartment for goodies.

Well, this is a delightful tome. I take the back seat, and immeadiatly begin reading this monsterous book on anything that might aide me in my service to the elder gods/help with the baby in my gut.

Continues to struggle against the alien. if he does get free he immediately will yell out "It is me, not the alien."

Replacing the former in the line of many long trained psychiatrists, Moira II joins the fight.

Equpiment: Stun baton x2, Conventional armor

Land that drop ship on that alien, AVENGE YOUR FALLEN COMRADE.

Lady attempts the electroshock therapy on raptor by picking up the activated stun baton and using it on him. She hopes it will snap him out of the alien control and if not render him vulnerable for another attempt to free him

GAWD. stupid Alien Artifact.

Examine the artifact FOR THE THIRD TIME >.>;;

Initiative-
Hostiles: 75!
Operatives: 42!
Hostiles go first!

Hostiles-
Unknown:
Like, seriously. I'm gonna start skipping this guy until he does something.
Lazy bastard.

Raptorman:
Resist Roll: 5!
You continue your rain of terror!
Target Roll: 2!
Target: Sigh!
That woman in the SILVER THONG OF JUSTICE! She must die!
Physical Attack Roll: 1!
Dodge Roll: 3!
Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant
Your first round flies wide!
Physical Attack Roll: 5!
Dodge Roll: 4!
Mitigation Roll: 1!
Damage: 5 - 1 - 1 (Armor) = 3!
Your second shot strikes Sigh in the shoulder, shattering the bone!
Physical Attack Roll: 6!
Dodge Roll: 2!
Mitigation Roll: 5!
Damage: 6 - 5 - 1 (Armor) = 0!
Your final round is deflected by the SILVER THONG OF JUSTICE!
Target Health Update: [3/6]
Clip Update: {2/18}

Operatives-
Kalon:
You attempt to determine an objective!
Roll: Autosuccess!
The GM forwards you to his post in response to your action earlier!

Sigh:
You attempt to make a badass entry scene!
Roll: 1!
Your entrance is somewhat marred by the gaping wound in your shoulder.
You should probably look into that.

Quakernuts II:
You try to induce jealousy in the moderators!
Roll: 4!
You feel good about yourself, but you don't think you've made them jealous.
Maybe it has something to do with their pimpin' ride.

Loki:
You scavenge through the glove compartment for goodies!
Roll: 6!
You find an alien artifact in the glove compartment!
Item Acquired: [Alien Artifact: Unidentified, Rifle-type]
Pack Update: {1/4}
Woah... hold up. What was this doing in there?

Plaguewalker:
You immediately begin reading the book which the GM had intended as a gag item!
Roll: 3!
Upon realizing the possible usefulness of the book, the GM has decided to balance out a decent result from a one with a bad result from a three.
You start reading, then remember you're dyslexic.
Fuck.
Your pregnancy progresses! 3 turns remaining!

Lady Despair:
You attempt electroshock therapy, using stun batons!
Roll: 1!
Target Status Effect Added: [Nervous Damage: Your procedure resulted in nerve damage. Now you receive -1 to all physical rolls, -2 to all physical combat rolls.]

Red:
Ignoring the fact that you are now flying, you continue your study of the alien artifact!
Roll: 5!
A ground-breaking discovery! It looks like a pistol!
Rule Discovered: The examination rolls give different pieces of info depending on your roll. Rolling two fives will not net you any more information, acquiring info requires a higher roll than any previous examination rolls!

Moira II:
You attempt to crush Raptorman with your dropship!
Physical Attack: 6! (Predetermined)
Dodge Roll: 8!
Mitigation Roll: Irrelevant!
Raptorman easily evades your foolish attack!

Loki raises his rifle, ready to target anything that could be threatening.

Action: Attempts to make a MEDICAL STATION from whatever is lying around 'FORT QUAKER'!

Use my Asian creeper skills on the alien pistol >.>;;

After walking out of the dropship, set stun batons to "stun" and give raptor alternating shocks until he acts human again.

I reach out with my mind, and quickly probe the thoughts of the sleeping father, trying to glean any useful information that is lurking in his subconcious.

Attempts to fight alien control and once again yell out that it is him if he breaks free

Lady tries counseling to try and help raptor gain his sanity back as moiras applies the therapy

Clearly we need more firepower! Summoning all of the awesome contained his pants, I try to transform the car into Voltron by merging with Quaker's awesome flying fortress of awesome!

Note: Before you try it, Chainy, there has to be people to pilot Voltron. The risk of being crushed is decreased...unless we roll a 6 or incredibly low...

I conclude that our objective remains the obvious: discover more about our alien enemies. I notice that someone has found an alien rifle. I like rifles! I get into the car with fellow Agents Loki and Plaguewalker.

I attempt to examine the alien rifle sticking out of a pack.
"What a swell rifle you have there! Mind if I have a look at it?"